I speak very little and write a lot. Usually with little letters on the random sheets of paper when something worth writing down crosses my mind. A pan is like a magical key to the wonderland. It brings out what you have inside and allows you to put so much in between the lines. But why blog... I do not really know. For sure it is more for myself than for anybody else because I am aware that not too many of you will ever get here. But it does not matter and this is the point in writing: I think you do it for yourself more than for anybody else. So I think I am here to save some thoughts from being forgotten. To give myself space for expression. To learn to own my own voice.
*ohh, and i love to break grammar rules! to begin sentences with small letter. and to start new ones with ands, buts and sos. such a little rebel. and exclamations, i overdo them, but it's ok, no? eventually, after years of education, nobody will give me a bad mark for a free stream of thought!
piątek, 6 lutego 2015
If you're reading this, it means I actually worked up the courage to mail it. So, good for me. You don't know me very well, but if you get me started I have a tendency to go on and on about how hard the writing is for me. But this... this is the hardest thing I've ever had to write. There is no easy way to say this, so I'll just say it: I met someone. It was an accident, I wasn't looking for it, I wasn't on the make. It was a perfect storm. She said one thing, I said another... Next thing I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life in the middle of that conversation. Now there is this feeling in my gut; she might be the one. She is completely nuts in a way that makes me smile highly neurotic, a great deal of maintenance required. She is you, Karen... That's the good news. The bad is that I don't know how to be with you right now, and that scares the shit out of me. Because if I am not with you right now, I have this feeling we will get lost out there. It's a big bad world full of twist and turns, people have a way of blinking and missing the moment. The moment that could have changed everything... I don't know what's going on with us and I can't tell why you should waste a leap of faith on the likes of me. But damn you smell good like home and you make excellent coffee that has to count for something, right?